My backyard flock is giving me serious side-eye again.
We see you, scarlettvvitch. That photo of your garden chickens, posted to r/chickens, tells a story we know all too well. Those birds are not just standing among the tomato plants. They are judging you. The tilt of their heads, the deliberate pacing, it is a silent tribunal, and you are the defendant. You did nothing wrong, and yet you feel guilty. That is the magic of chickens.
There is a specific tension in owning a backyard flock that no one warns you about. You love these creatures. You provide them with premium feed, secure housing, and the occasional kitchen scrap delivered with ceremonial reverence. In return, they offer you side-eye so potent it could curdle milk. It is a love-hate relationship that keeps us all coming back to subreddits like this one, searching for solidarity. We look at that photo and think, "Yes. *That* is the look. The one that says I know where you hide the treats, and I am disappointed you did not bring them out sooner." It is fowl play at its finest.
What does this mean for you in practical terms? First, take a deep breath. The side-eye is not a sign of rebellion. It is a sign of intelligence. Chickens have a social hierarchy, and you are part of it. Whether you like it or not, you are the beta in this arrangement. The alpha is the hen who just gave you that look while scratching up your basil. The solution is not to stare back defiantly. That escalates things. The solution is to acknowledge their authority with a slow blink and a handful of mealworms. Do not break eye contact. Just respect the pecking order.
If a reader came to us asking how to handle this situation, we would tell them to embrace the absurdity. Your birds are not plotting against you, they are simply holding you to a standard you cannot possibly meet. And that is fine. Let them judge. Let them stand in your garden like tiny, feathered HOA board members. In return, you get fresh eggs, free pest control, and a daily reminder that you are not the boss of anyone. That is the honest take: you are outnumbered, out-stared, and out-charmed. Get used to it. Your backyard flock is giving you side-eye again, and honestly, you earned it.
