chickens

Rate our feathered friends before they rate you back

Welcome to "Rate Them," where we dive into the delightful and sometimes chaotic world of our feathered friends!

3 min readchickens
Rate our feathered friends before they rate you back
Rate them

A Reddit user recently posted a video with a simple request: "Rate them." The clip shows a person standing in a yard while a group of hens approaches with the focused determination of a jury returning a verdict. They walk straight toward the camera, heads bobbing, eyes locked. The caption implies the rating is mutual, that while you size up those feathered friends, they are absolutely sizing you right back. And honestly? That's the most honest chicken content we've seen in months.

We spend a lot of time talking about how funny chickens are, how they make us laugh with their ridiculous struts and sudden sprints for no reason. But this video calls out the unspoken truth: chickens are also judges. They watch you. They know when you're nervous. They can smell fear, or maybe that's just the layer mash on your boots. Either way, the moment you step into their run, you are being evaluated. Do you have treats? Do you move too fast? Are you trustworthy? The verdict is delivered in the form of a quick peck or a sudden stampede away from your outstretched hand.

What does this mean for you, the reader who may already have a complicated relationship with these birds? It means you should stop pretending you're the only one doing the rating. Every time you try to pick the friendliest hen for a photo, she is running her own audit on you. Our advice? Embrace the role reversal. Instead of worrying whether you'll look foolish in front of your flock, because you will, especially the first time you try to herd them back into the coop, start paying attention to the feedback they give you. A chicken that stays close is giving you five stars. A chicken that runs and hides is giving you a one-star review with no explanation. That's just how the system works.

If a reader came to us and said, "I'm scared my chickens are judging me," we would tell them: good. That fear is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You wouldn't want a chicken that didn't pay attention to you. A bird that ignores you is a bird that might wander into traffic or get snatched by a hawk. Their judgment is their survival instinct, and your discomfort is just the price of admission. So next time you step into the coop, look those feathered critics in the eye. Let them rate you. Then hand them a handful of mealworms and watch those ratings climb. That's the practical takeaway: you don't win their approval by being impressive. You win it by being the reliable person who shows up with snacks.

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