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Reginald declared war mid takeout call and I lost the battle

There's nothing quite like a phone call to a restaurant to bring out the inner raptor in a chicken.

3 min readchickens
Reginald declared war mid takeout call and I lost the battle
This little shitstain attacked me mid phone call today

There's a special kind of chaos that only a chicken can bring to a phone call. You're trying to be a functional adult, maybe confirming a takeout order, and then Reginald decides it's the perfect moment to rain down hell upon you. I've been there. We've all been there. That little shitstain in the photo isn't just a bird; he's a feathered terrorist with a vendetta against your composure. And honestly? I respect it.

This is the side of chicken ownership that the glossy Instagram photos don't show you. Those Six fluffy chicks have hatched—egg-cellent news from our feathered friends! might look like adorable puffballs, but they grow up into Reginald. They grow up into creatures with opinions, grudges, and a shocking lack of respect for your Bluetooth headset. We've covered the Tiny Marans Froment chicks are cluck-tastic, and currently napping! and the sheer joy of that innocent phase, but nobody warns you about the teenage phase. That's where the real fowl play begins. You can't just enjoy a peaceful call without a beak involved in the conversation.

As someone who has been on the receiving end of a wing-flap ambush mid-sentence, I get it. The practical takeaway here is simple: never turn your back on a rooster with a phone in your hand. This isn't just a cautionary tale; it's a survival guide. When you're dealing with a bird who thinks your voice is a battle cry, you need to be ready. Keep your phone on speaker, keep one eye on the coop, and for the love of all that is cluck-tastic, keep your shins protected. We've seen the lighter side of these Chickens Got Her Good! A Backyard Poultry Adventure, but this story is the sequel nobody asked for.

So, what do we do with this? We laugh, because if we don't, we'll be the ones getting chased by a dinosaur with feathers. But we also learn. We learn that Reginald is not the problem; the problem is expecting a creature that poops on command to respect your personal space. The next time you pick up the phone, remember this: your conversation can wait, but Reginald's need to assert dominance cannot. That's the real question here, are we raising these birds, or are they just training us to apologize for every call we take?

From chickens

I was calling a restaurant to ask about a takeout order and Reginald thought it was an appropriate time to rain down hell upon me

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