Look, I get it. You have a routine. Every morning, same time, same place. Your chicken trots over, you hand her a little onigiri, she gobbles it down, and everything is right in the world. It's a beautiful, simple partnership. Until the day she decides she'd rather tap into a food delivery app than make the short walk to your hand. That's exactly what happened to u/parissf this morning. Their chicken was taking her sweet time laying an egg, so instead of coming for her usual rice ball, she apparently ordered Goober Eats.
Now, I have to admit, there's a part of me that finds this hilarious. A chicken bypassing the personal chef service she's been getting for free? That's the kind of sass we all secretly respect. But let's be real for a second, there's also a part of me that's deeply unsettled. Because this isn't just a funny Reddit post. This is a cold, hard glimpse into the future of chicken-kind. If our feathered friends have figured out third-party delivery, what's next? Are they going to start leaving passive-aggressive notes about the quality of their scratch grains? Are they going to unionize for better perches?
Here's the practical takeaway for you, the backyard chicken owner who's reading this with a mix of amusement and dread. Your chicken is watching you. She knows how to use a phone. She has access to your credit card. If you have been slacking on the morning treat delivery, if you showed up late once with a slightly less-than-perfect onigiri, she's taking notes. This is the moment to re-evaluate your poultry hospitality. Don't assume your bond is unshakable just because you feed them daily. That bond is transactional, and today, the transaction was a delivery fee and a tip.
So what would I tell a reader who asked about this? First, check your phone bill for any unexpected charges under "Goober Eats." Second, tighten up your morning game. A fresh onigiri, hand-delivered, with a bit of fanfare, that's the premium service. Your chicken is a customer, and she has options now. If a reader came to me worried their own hen might try a similar stunt, I'd tell them not to panic, but to take notes. This particular hen chose a delivery app over her owner. That's not a betrayal, it's a red flag about the power dynamic in your coop. You are no longer the sole provider; you're just one ad on a very small, very feathery screen. Check your app permissions.