chickens

Why hatch normal eggs when you can summon a clucking army of giants

Why settle for ordinary chickens when you can assemble a feathered army of epic proportions?

3 min readchickens
Why hatch normal eggs when you can summon a clucking army of giants
48 Brahma eggs and 13 Indio Gigante eggs; cause why have normal sized chickens when I can have an army of frighteningly large chickens

A Reddit user named SatanikRaccoon is currently incubating 48 Brahma eggs and 13 Indio Gigante eggs, and their stated goal is an army of frighteningly large chickens. I have looked at the photograph of those eggs. They are not cute. They are the size of small potatoes, and they sit in those incubator trays with the quiet, patient menace of a cult preparing for the harvest. My honest reaction is a mix of admiration and a cold, creeping dread that makes me want to check my windows are locked.

Let's be honest about what this means in practical terms. A standard chicken is already a dinosaur in miniature, a creature that will peck a worm out of the ground and stare at you with an eye that holds no warmth. The Indio Gigante breed is bred specifically to be enormous, and the Brahma is famously a gentle giant. But a giant is still a giant. This person is not raising a flock. They are raising a battalion. When those 61 chicks hatch, they will not be cute little peepers. They will be feathered linebackers, and the moment they decide the kitchen floor is theirs, the kitchen floor will be theirs. The practical advice for anyone who feels tempted by this photograph is simple: measure your coop door. Measure it again. Then add six inches, because that Indio Gigante will not fit through a standard door, and you will have to build a custom ramp while the bird watches you with what you will swear is amusement.

If a reader came to me and said they were considering this, I would not tell them not to do it. That would be hypocritical. The entire point of keeping chickens is that you can choose chaos. You can pick the docile layer or the aggressive meat bird, or you can pick the one that looks like it could carry off a small dog. What I would tell them is to prepare for the psychological toll. You will look at a normal chicken afterward and think it is a sparrow. You will become desensitized to size. Your friends will visit, see a bird that comes up to their knee, and they will not pet it. They will back away slowly. You will own birds that other people find genuinely scary, and you will have to explain, over and over, that they are actually very sweet, while the bird behind you takes a step forward and your guest takes a step back.

So what is the takeaway? This is not about hatching eggs. This is about making a statement. The statement is that normal is boring, and that you are willing to wake up at 3 a.m. to check a humidity gauge for a bird that will one day eat a full cup of feed in one sitting. If you want that life, build a bigger coop and a stronger fence. If you do not, look at the photograph, appreciate the audacity, and go buy a standard Rhode Island Red from the feed store. That bird will lay eggs you can actually fit in a carton, and it will not make your neighbors cross the street. The choice is yours, but choose knowing that an army of giants is a lot of responsibility, and a lot of poop.

From chickens

submitted by /u/SatanikRaccoon [link] [comments]

Read the original at chickens